12.22.2014

A new series....eeek!

Alright, we're getting official here! It's a new series! And, with that, I'm like a bowl of mixed emotions...excitement, fear, hope, hesitation, anxiety, joy.....yet, as hesitant as I've been to push the "publish" button, tonight when Matt read a verse for something else, I was reminded of merely one of the reasons why I'm doing this....
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." 
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
I've had community on my heart for so long...the desire to have it, encourage it, share it....and I've wanted it here for sure.  I want the comfort, strength, and encouragement God gives through community.  We need each other.  We need good, raw, transparent friendships who don't put up facades or hide behind the "what if they know" fears...whether it's face to face, long distance or online, new or old friends, friendships and community can be had....and it can be had for our good and for His glory.

I guess I'm mainly preaching to my own introvert momma self who needs to step out of her comfy zone at home and back into pursuing and growing those friendships again.  Just because one calling is super important and priority over everything else, doesn't mean other priorities need to be tossed to the wind.  Sadly, that's sort of what I've done in my busyness as a mother....not kept in touch with friends who breathe life into me, encourage and comfort me and who I want to do the same for.  Not to beat myself up over it or anything, I mean I know I have good reasons and all, :) but wow, friendships are important.  Community is a God-send. I don't want to be so busy that I forget that.


I have no idea where God is going with this series or blog, but I just know it's supposed to happen....just taking some little steps of faith here.


His timing is perfect.  So, we shall see. 


Alrighty then!  


In my mind, one of the first steps to community is to be open and honest about who you are.  We are sharing ourselves, baring open the raw details of our hearts and lives.  It may not happen over night, but nevertheless, I believe it should happen.


I've never been one for much small talk.  I'm always "Let's get past the facades and cut to the chase."  I know, I'm no fun.  But, I want to know you and I want to hear you.  We all want to know someone cares, and we have an ingrained desire to be known, and although God wants to fill that desire more than anyone else, He sure blesses us along the way with people who love us for Him.  It's such a beautiful thing.


So, you still following me??  Alright, so....in counseling {oh that fun LeadTime year!}, I learned something.  


I needed to know myself. 


I needed to reflect on my life up to that point.


Learning about myself and being real with who I was, was a crucial part in building community that year. It was crucial into being me


It grew healing.  It grew forgiveness.  It grew love.


It wasn't fun all the time.  It was hard.  Before, I had actually prayed to forget things.  Forget details I didn't want to think on.  And up to that point, God had really answered that prayer in neat ways.


Yet, then, it was time to remember.  Time to dig deep and reflect on who I was and how I got there. It was time to work through some things.


It was the most life-changing year I've ever known....and it was the hardest.


It was the beginning of a new me....and since then, it's been a long road of healing and growing in the understanding of God's love, grace, and mercy.


Yet, now, it's time to reflect again.  



I had wondered why little old me needs to even tell my story...maybe someone needs to hear it.maybe to understand the importance of a father… maybe to recognize looking for love and value in the wrong places.maybe dealing with fears or lies.
and maybe it is just to help readers know me... to know I'm real.  that my past is real, my hurts, my triumphs, my details.  they are mine and they are real.  this is who I am, or at least where I've come from....and I want sharing that to build community if that's where God leads.

I do want to share it with my children.  So, I want to write it for them.

Yet now, I know.  It's for me, too….this writing out and sharing of my story….for more healing. ….healing from doubting….healing to really begin to grasp WHO the Father is and to be filled with His love like I've never known before....healing to lead me to know WHO I am in Him and to find my absolute complete value and beauty in Him.

Although  I thought I was done with the main healing process years ago, God is revealing to me there’s aspects He wants to redeem and replace with absolute truth in Him.  Absolute Truth about Him and Who He is...

and I truly believe He wants me to write out this journey here.


So, with that, I'm starting....
















Once again, feeling all kinds of emotions just announcing it!  

And it's not just me!  There's others who want to share their stories, and I'm so excited to be able to share them here! Meanwhile, I'll get it going with my own {who knows how many installments that will be! You know I can get a little wordy.}, and I hope you'll stay along for the journey. :)

xoxoxo

find the rest here...
My Story, part 1


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